today has just not been a good morning... I'm super crabby and just down right depressed today. Again I realized that I missed my "happy pill", and honestly I can't even remember when the last time I took it was... needless to say this morning I have crashed. Yes, this is not the 1st time, nor the 2nd... it happens. I get so busy and just forget to take them one day and then maybe 2 days, and the next thing I know I can't function. I don't do anything that is horrible, but I just can't function. I end up not wanting to leave the house, just wanting to cry the day away and what is really getting me today is being a bad mommy. I've yelled at the girls more than ever today... pick that up, stop fighting with each other, how many times do I have to tell you... you name it, I've said it this morning and it has me feeling a huge pit in my stomach. I really just want to curl up on the couch and cry the day away, but instead I have to pack everyone up and head to lunch at the in-laws. Don't get me wrong, they are wonderful people and I know we are blessed beyond words to have them and for everything they do for us, but honestly I just don't want to go today...
I did take my happy pill after having my major meltdown, and I know that tomorrow will be a much better day... I'm not sure why I write this all down, other than to share that I am human... depression sucks... and it just felt right to get it all out... maybe by keeping track of my up's and down's better I can help me be a better person, especially a better mom... if you made it this far... big kuddos to you... sometimes life is tough... today is just one of those days...
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